


lockdown squad

by five_feet_of_fury



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Explicit Language, Gen, Group chat, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rare Pairings, Texting, ambiguous texting app, as the cool kids say, chatfic, feel free to suggest more things that i should tag, ig ??? you know kids will be kids they're gonna curse, specifically based on my class and our experiences last year, they're all 17/18/19 because that's the age range in the last year of high school where i live, this is set in quarantine to help me cope, warning for extremely niche ships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:55:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28353525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/five_feet_of_fury/pseuds/five_feet_of_fury
Summary: after the first week of online classes aj lee creates a group chat in a nocturnal moment of nostalgia
Relationships: AJ Lee/CM Punk, Alicia Fox/Paige | Britani Knight, Bayley | Davina Rose/Carmella, Dean Ambrose | Jon Moxley/Roman Reigns, Kofi Kingston/Big E Langston, Naomi Knight/Jimmy Uso, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Sasha Banks/Becky Lynch | Rebecca Knox, Seth Rollins | Tyler Black/A.J. Styles
Comments: 7
Kudos: 15





	1. villain origin story

// late friday night //

chuck taylors enthusiast created a group

chuck taylors enthusiast added ram-paige

chuck taylors enthusiast added k8lyn

chuck taylors enthusiast added bayley!

chuck taylors enthusiast added little miss bliss

k8lyn: you little piece of shit it,s fucjen 3am

chuck taylors enthusiast: don't fucking worry about it why did you have to interrupt me and my adding people spree

ram-paige: lmao what the fuck are u doing

chuck taylors enthusiast: DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT

chuck taylors enthusiast added chicago made

ram-paige: wait if you're adding your so i wanna add mine tf

ram-paige added foxy

chuck taylors enthusiast: feel fucking FREE to add any of our friends lmao

k8lyn: should we just add nattie rn or do we let lexi do it when she wakes up

chuck taylors enthusiast: aw let lexi do it 🥺

chuck taylors enthusiast added biggie

biggie: GROUP??????

chuck taylors enthusiast: WHY ARE YOU NOT SLEEPING!!!

biggie: SORRY MOM

k8lyn: EEEEEEE

biggie: KATEEEEE

biggie: WHAT'S THIS ABOUT

k8lyn: IDK I GUESS AJ WANTS A SQUAD GROUP CHAT

biggie: OH THEN LET ME ADD MY SQUAD?!?!?!?!

chuck taylors enthusiast: YEAH PLEASE DO

biggie added kofi k

biggie added xav

xav: GROUPCHAT??? W NO WARNING????

chuck taylors enthusiast: YEAH DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT GODDAMN

chuck taylors enthusiast named the group "DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT"

k8lyn: aight wait let me just

k8lyn added seth freakin rollins

chuck taylors enthusiast: ew :/ problematic pick

k8lyn: stfu lmao u lichrally added paige

ram-paige: SORRY??? BRO? I'M SORRY?????

chuck taylors enthusiast: her british bitchass probably going Exchewse mey???? rn

ram-paige: BROOOO UNPROMPTED?? JUST LIKE THAT?

ram-paige: yeah ok YEAH SO UHH ANYWAY. FUCK YOU ALL

ram-paige added big bex energy

big bex energy: HEY PAIGE SAID WE'RE ADDING FRIENDS! AND I SEE BAY'S ALREADY HERE SO!

chuck taylors enthusiast: HELL YEAH BEX THAT'S THE ENERGY

big bex energy added the bo$$

big bex energy added queen charlotte

k8lyn: noah fence but that name sucks.... smells like rich kid in here

big bex energy: AUDJSIISJFE I MEAN YOU'RE NOT WRONG,

big bex energy added ambrose

chuck taylors enthusiast: I WAS LICHRALLY ABOUT TO ADD HIM TOO JSJDKSJFKA

biggie: let me add his mans before he freaks out

biggie added roman

big bex energy: anyone else 👀

k8lyn: no. now here's a concept. this is enough people for now. we all go to sleep. if tomorrow someone has more ideas we'll add more people. you let me have peace

chuck taylors enthusiast: thinking......... .. pondering.. . . .. ....

k8lyn: i know i've told u this before and believe me i mean it everytime. i will break lockdown to come fucking deck u mendez

chuck taylors enthusiast: i hope u do 👀

chuck taylors enthusiast: jk lmao ok i'm going to sleep goodnight everyone xx

ram-paige: same gn!!

biggie: GOODNIGHT

// next morning //

bayley!: HELLO???? GOOD MORNING?????

kofi k: YOOOOOO

little miss bliss: what's up w this omg!!! hi!!

chuck taylors enthusiast: I JUST WANTED A GROUPCHAT FOR THE SQUAD :( BC I MISS YOU

ambrose: aww april that's not normal of you

chuck taylors enthusiast: what the FUCK are u trying to imply ambrose 🔪

chuck taylors enthusiast: no but i mean. i have so many groupchats for all my classes now and they're always blowing up w texts. and they're so fucking annoying. i want at least one groupchat that brings me joy xx

chicago made: lockdown's making her very nostalgic and emotional

chuck taylors enthusiast: i suddenly miss and yearn for every person i've ever locked eyes with

bayley!: ok but same

ambrose: wait aj are u and punk quarantining together?

chicago made: yea lmao i'm staying @ her house

chicago made: fun fact her siblings are so much funnier than her

chuck taylors enthusiast: hey don't be a piece of shit

chuck taylors enthusiast: my sister's so butthurt bc she's not quarantining w her gf but i've got my bf around <3 suck it up erica

chicago made: if u even fucking look at erica i will stomp you to death with my hooves

chuck taylors enthusiast: shut the fuck up

bayley!: anyway

bayley!: i'm quarantining w mella too! who else! is anyone else w someone?

ambrose: i'm w roman and the twins and naomi but i've kinda unofficially lived here for months anyway

roman: yea it's bomb

ambrose: oh good morning you took u long enough to check your phone

roman: I WAS MAKING YOU BREAKFAST???? AND THIS IS HOW YOU THANK ME????

ambrose: you'll see how i thank you after class ends

big bex energy: 

foxy: same

foxy: me & paige are together too <3

little miss bliss: i'm staying w nattie!! should i add her?

k8lyn: PLEASE

little miss bliss added natbynature

natbynature: HI EVERYONE

little miss bliss: <3

the bo$$: wait dean and/or roman add my girl naomi pls

the bo$$: and the twins too ig lmao

xav: YEAH ADD THE TWINS

roman: oh no

roman added jimmy uce

roman added ucey jucey

roman added feeltheglow

jimmy uce: WHASSUUUUP

xav: YEAAAAAH

ucey jucey: NOW WE CAN START FUCKIN WILDING BROS

feeltheglow: HEY SASHA 💙

the bo$$: HEY QUEEN 💚

ram-paige: the way the energy levels instantly skyrocketed aidkskfjakfk

natbynature: hi!!

feeltheglow: 💕💕💕

k8lyn: how are you all managing living together lmao

big bex energy: YEAH HOW ARE Y'ALL'S PARENTS DEALING W THIS :/

roman: well my parents got the bigger house so the twins naomi my aunt and uncle are staying here and it's great honestly ? the parents are doing fine for now but i do expect them to go fucking crazy in a month or two

ambrose: in short rich people stuff

roman: i know and i'm sorry

ucey jucey: we're fucking angels ok rome

feeltheglow: me and dean are just vibing w the fam

ambrose: yeah it's great tbh lmao how's everyone else?

biggie: me and kofi are staying at xavier's lmao

kofi k: we ended up picking his house just bc he didn't wanna move all of his gaming set up and he wasn't gonna spend god knows how long without gaming

seth freakin rollins: fair

seth freakin rollins: hi everyone why do i have 356789 texts

ambrose: ew i didn't notice he was here

k8lyn: lmao sorry dean i added him 😔🤙🏻

chuck taylors enthusiast: see what i told u k8? problematic pick

k8lyn: sorry but hoes that bleach half of their hair together die together 😔🤙🏻

seth freakin rollins: i came out to play videogames and i'm honestly feeling so attacked right now

roman: good

xav: will you three have beef forever

ambrose: yes

roman: yes

little miss bliss: to be fair isn't dean a sagittarius

ambrose: alexa with all due respect what the fuck does that mean

little miss bliss: adfhklges you just tend to be petty and vengeful!

chicago made: wig 

feeltheglow: idk i don't see that

big bex energy: i mean it fits dean. but you're special <3

feeltheglow: aww hell yeah <3

seth freakin rollins: not to ruin the mood but does anyone have any zoom class rn and is anyone planning to pay attention,

ambrose: god will you shut the fuck up

seth freakin rollins: how about you shut the fuck up???

roman: i swear to god if you talk to him again i'm gonna be willing to get fined just so i can come kick your ass

ambrose: my man <3

seth freakin rollins: this is two on one that's no fucking fair

seth freakin rollins added p1

ambrose: who the fuck is p1

p1: aj styles

ambrose: this keeps getting fucking worse

p1: fuck off

kofi k: not to pull a seth rn but,,,, seriously anyone has class

kofi k: i know me and roman have the same class in like 10 mins

the bo$$: me and mella have that class too 🙄 ew

bayley!: if you talk shit about my gf again

bayley! added mella💎

the bo$$: ew who has emojis in their name

mella💎: i heard you been talking shit as usual

natbynature: the girls are fightinggg :(

biggie: STOP can't you see you're upsetting mom >:(

ram-paige: everyone's being such an asshole just drop it ugh this is a friend zone

chuck taylors enthusiast: i hate you paige

ram-paige: die

roman: yea uh. shut up i have english class rn. don't blow up my phone

ambrose: what if i blow you just out of frame rn

the bo$$: did you really just say that. are you insane are you on crack

ambrose: it's gonna happen at some point just you wait

ucey jucey: dean that's my cousin

ambrose: look away bro

jimmy uce: 

roman: dean. honey. baby boy. love of my life. why would you say that in a groupchat with all our friends and most importantly my cousins. baby what's not fucking clicking

ambrose: :/ sorry ddujdkdkdka

bayley!: did he just have a stroke

feeltheglow: roman grabbed the phone out his hands lmao i don't think i wanna know what dean was gonna write :-)

ambrose: FUCK OFF EVERYONE i have class next hour i'm BORED and none of my samoans + naomi can entertain me rn so i think i will cause problems until my class starts. ruin roman's class instead. make y'all have some fun

the bo$$: yeah please

big bex energy: wait dean didn't we have chem class now

chicago made: no bro they moved it i'm in that class too

xav: ^ same

big bex energy: oh fuck's sake

big bex energy: i guess i gotta annoy sasha's class too then

ambrose: YEAH SISTER BROTHER BONDING ACTIVITY

chuck taylors enthusiast: but dean... i thought we were bros....

big bex energy: sorry this is red hair supremacy

mella💎: i mean..... maybe dean can have two sisters. as a treat

bayley!: wait i want in too

mella💎: three sisters****

ambrose: yeah fuck it i'm gonna hoard sisters anyone else wanna hop in

feeltheglow: i'm already ur cous so we good xx

chuck taylors enthusiast: gang

bayley!: gang

p1: me and seth have maths rn who wants to ruin this class

feeltheglow: i'm in that class too but i don't wanna ruin my reputation xx

ram-paige: i was thinking abt blasting some shitty music

seth freakin rollins: great absolutely fucking ideal

foxy: wait we have zoom ?

chuck taylors enthusiast: what? yes? y. sorry but where the fuck have you been

foxy: WHAT i'm still adjusting to this new situation ok :( i'm still confused :(!!!!

chuck taylors enthusiast: yeah i mean after all it's only been a fucking week

ram-paige: hey don't jump my bimbo queen like that

foxy: yeah tell her :(

seth freakin rollins: none of you has brain in here

ambrose: thinking abt crashing naomi's class so i can mess things up for rollins instead

seth freakin rollins: mind your fucking business weren't u gonna blow ur boyfriend

roman: i thought i said leave him alone????

p1: why don't u and ambrose back off instead

xav: i repeat THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINGGG

ram-paige: ugh men

ram-paige: anyway should i blast cotton eyed joe or stayin alive

ram-paige: alicia also suggested rasputin

p1: i'm sorry i thought you said you were gonna play shitty music???

big bex energy: i'm sorry but are you my dad? are you 50 years old allen?

p1: bye

xav: i was thinking i was gonna edit my voice and make myself sound really weird when my class starts

chicago made: hell yeah fuck it up

natbynature: you are all menaces


	2. guitar boy tales & horny police

// friday but later in the day //

bayley!: hey i need everyone to know that an idiot in my class rn forgot to turn off mic & camera and is now playing guitar like it's nothing

bayley!: teacher wanted to play it cool at first and wait for him to realize but now idk.... i think she's kinda into it

natbynature: oh? true love? 

bayley!: yea maybee.......

little miss bliss: bay could it be... elias playing

bayley!: OH FUCK YEAH IT'S HIM

the bo$$: YOU DEADASS DIDN'T RECOGNIZE HIM????

big bex energy: YOU DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER READING HIS NAME??

bayley!: I DIDN'T CAREEEE

feeltheglow: DIDN'T YOU GET PAIRED UP W HIM A FEW YEARS BACK FOR THAT ONE PROJECT??? 

bayley!: YEAH I GUESS BUT 

bayley!: LISTEN I'M NOT PAYING ATTENTION OK

mella💎: i'm distracting

the bo$$: sure u are sweetie

bayley!: you really are babe 

mella💎: sasha i'm gonna kick ur teeth in one day

big bex energy: ok everyone let's fucking calm down

roman: jesus christ girls

k8lyn: some of y'all could use a fuckin tranquilizer

ram-paige: where tf did u vanish to

k8lyn: i fuckin fell asleep and missed like two classes

chuck taylors enthusiast: that's it from now on everytime you disappear i'll call u to check up 

chuck taylors enthusiast: and hopefully to annoy u too

k8lyn: oh april you're always annoying sweetheart

chuck taylors enthusiast: thank u <3

xav: is everyone done w classes for today?

bayley!: i'm pretty sure me and the twins have this one more to go and everyone else's done?

ucey jucey: yea we're close to the end of the first week kids

ambrose: and i'm already fucking tired of this

natbynature: here's hoping it doesn't last for too long :(

mella💎: i'm spiritually clinking your glass w mine rn 

kofi k: yea same 

kofi k: 🥂

kofi k: how's this first week been y'all?

big bex energy: well one of my teachers realized gays exist in his class

the bo$$: i feel like they've been underestimating how many of us there is in the School lmaooo

little miss bliss: wait what happened tho 👀

jimmy uce: also which teacher tho 👀

big bex energy: it was fuckin jbl lmao he noticed sasha's hair in the bg and he was like oh why are u w miss banks!! and i was like. we're quarantining together king. and he was like oh that's so sweet u must be such good friends!! and i was like sir we're dating

bayley!: people are gay john

the bo$$: he was so shook lmao

ram-paige: do u reckon he's home of phobic

big bex energy: i mean he wears cowboy hats unironically doesn't he

natbynature: 😬

roman: how are u kofi

kofi k: :)))) i'm chilling thank u!!

kofi k: we've been stuffing ourselves w pancakes so fuckin much y'all

biggie: brought to you by yours truly, me xx

chuck taylors enthusiast: damn i miss e's pancakes :( 

biggie: and i miss making you pancakes :( 

xav: we'll eat extra ones for u april

chuck taylors enthusiast: don't even say it 

feeltheglow: roman's mom and the twins' mom try to one up each other w the food all the time we're all fucking stuffed

ucey jucey: it's no real fight bc after all we know our dad's the real best cook so

jimmy uce: y'all it's only been a week but the way we've all gained weight already..... OOF

roman: except dean somehow he eats like an animal but still looks the same

ambrose: hey naomi hasn't changed much either

feeltheglow: yea but that's because i've been limiting myself king

the bo$$: roman weren't u happy abt dean staying the same last time we talked

roman: yeah cause his waist's fuckin hot 

biggie: WHOA WHOA WHOA NOW CALM DOWN MY GOOD SIR THIS IS THE HORNY POLICE 

ambrose: no let him talk :) 

little miss bliss: 😳😳😳 roman........ you're truly unhinged

roman: shut UP everyone give me a BREAK

ambrose: you know,,, having the whole family over,,, everyone being in the house 24/7,,,,, it's getting harder and harder to. you know. f word

ucey jucey: oh so that's why he's so bitchy sometimes??? i thought he was mad at me bro 

roman: no dean's talking bullshit don't listen to him

roman: we did it last night in our room's bathroom i literally don't know where he's getting this from

roman: like i don't wanna be weird saying this i just want to prove that he's talking bullshit

chuck taylors enthusiast: oh so that's why dean didn't interact when the group chat was born. i was thinking it was weird of him to be asleep already but. he just simply Wasn't asleep

jimmy uce: ok. that makes sense but like. honestly? i was happier when i didn't know xx

ucey jucey: ^^^

roman: sorry you're right

ambrose: SHUT UP we used to do it everyday and now wejdhdjdjd

ambrose: STOP STEALING MY FUCKING PHONE AND ADMIT YOU'RE FRUSTRATED ABT THE CHANGE OF ROUTINE

k8lyn: wow i really hate this conversation :)

roman: ME TOO 

big bex energy: ???? why are u two struggling me and sasha have been going at it more than we used to 

chicago made: weird flex but. ok

ram-paige: 

the bo$$: lockdown's treating us too well :))) 

bayley!: 

bayley!: can you horny fucks stop talking abt s*x this is a christian group chat

chuck taylors enthusiast: as the creator of the group chat i call bullshit anyone wanna expose their kinks now

natbynature: the people i see typing better stop immediately

foxy: fishnets good

little miss bliss: oh ok sorry nattie 

ambrose: where do i start

chicago made: getting slapped maybe

the bo$$: dirty talking

natbynature: i hope you all know i am deeply ashamed you're all going to hell except you lexi <3

little miss bliss: 🥰🥰🥰

ram-paige: who would have thought mom's kink was kinkshaming

natbynature: BE QUIET PAIGE

bayley!: YOU'RE ALL BASTARDS I WANTED TO PROVIDE AN UPDATE ON THE ELIAS PLAYING GUITAR SITUATION BUT I GUESS YOU DON'T DESERVE IT

k8lyn: NOOOOO PLEASE BAYLEY WE CAN'T ALL SUFFER BECAUSE OF FOUR BASTARDS

bayley!: you're right k8. here comes then

xav: 👀👀👀👀👀

bayley!: the class is almost over and he hasn't realized yet so the teacher had to fully call him out publicly and he dropped the guitar trying to pretend he'd been just sitting there all along BUT YOU COULD SEE THE REALIZATION ON HIS FACE

little miss bliss: GET HIS AAASS

bayley!: he was going thru the 5 stages of grief realizing he had been jamming for the past fuckin. 30 mins w mic and camera on and there was no way to lie out of it

bayley!: plus we all heard the guitar hitting the floor when he dropped it. it was painful

seth freakin rollins: GET FUCKING REKT

bayley!: cringe of u to say that but ok

bayley!: and then the teacher asked him to spend extra time on zoom to catch up w the pages he just missed lmao

bayley!: but obviously all of us went ;) get some

bayley!: bc you know. there was already some jokes abt teacher being into It

jimmy uce: i love that i was there for the ride and watched it happen in real time but i still sat down to listen to the story

ucey jucey: same lmao

mella💎: what can i say she's a great storyteller <3 

chicago made: maybe we should add guitar boy some time

chicago made: see if he ever got some..

ambrose: i've had beef w guitar boy

big bex energy: what for this time.

ambrose: he didn't wanna play me acdc

big bex energy: did u consider. he is not a jukebox

ambrose: well what's a guitar for then???? 

roman: baby you've had beef with everyone in the world

ambrose: fair

ambrose: except you <3

ucey jucey: AND us

ambrose: yeah:) everyone except the fam

chuck taylors enthusiast: can't believe the squad's being soft for once

biggie: are you proud of us mom

chuck taylors enthusiast: yea :)

natbynature: wait i thought i was mom???

chuck taylors enthusiast: ????? square up nattie

little miss bliss: NO

biggie: WAIT aj's only MY mom. nattie's universal mom

natbynature: YEAH I LOVE THAT

chuck taylors enthusiast: ME TOO BUT I NEED TO POINT OUT THAT BAYLEY'S MY DAUGHTER TOO

bayley!: you're not my real mom

chuck taylors enthusiast: little shit

ram-paige changed natbynature's name to universal mom

universal mom: ADGJHTFD WAIT BUT I LIKED MY OLD NAME

ram-paige: WELL. YOU'LL KEEP UNIVERSAL MOM FOR NOW. PLEASE

universal mom: DAMN ok 

big bex energy: ok but. if me and bayley and dean are sibs. does it make aj our m

big bex energy: WAIT AJ'S A SISTER TOO???

chuck taylors enthusiast: sweetie you're thinking about this too much xx stop xx

p1: a bit late to the convo but. i know you were talking abt april but seeing discourse abt aj being a mom my flight or fight got triggered

xav: i mean. respectfully. have you seen your hair

ambrose: DAMN

big bex energy: but NOW we said it

p1: I'M ABOUT. TO START BREAKING STUFF

seth freakin rollins: please don't ruin the house

kofi k: petition for aj the second to get some anger management therapy????

p1: AJ THE SECOND???? Y'ALL ARE TESTING ME!!!!!!!

seth freakin rollins: can we settle on calling him allen and the other aj can keep aj

chuck taylors enthusiast: the other aj???? the other my ASS i'm the ORIGINAL

chuck taylors enthusiast changed p1's name to aj the second

foxy: aight bros i'm gonna be real w yous rn i'm not a fan of all the name changing you're doing today i'm still struggling to remember the nicknames as they are

the bo$$: she has a point i can't be bothered to remember all this

aj the second: I'M FUMING

aj the second changed their name to p1

p1: AND DON'T TOUCH IT AGAIN

chuck taylors enthusiast: sorry mom

seth freakin rollins: stop it i'm the one who's gonna have to deal w him in person and i'm not looking forward to it

k8lyn: cringe

feeltheglow: anyway. on the twins and bayley's behalf i am announcing their class is over and we are all officially done with our first week of online classes

little miss bliss: WOOOOO

mella💎: i feel like we should toast

xav: mella are you developing alcoholism

mella💎: n

mella💎: am i

mella💎: bay do you think i'm developing alcoholism

bayley!: no u just. enjoy a good bubble

mella💎: yeah >:(

queen charlotte: i'm sorry but what's this group chat and why do i have almost 500 texts from this alone

chuck taylors enthusiast: lockdown squad 

big bex energy: friends zone

ram-paige: gang

queen charlotte: i think i'll leave? respectfully?

jimmy uce: are you saying we're too annoying

queen charlotte: yeah kinda

ucey jucey: o: 

queen charlotte: i mean i already have enough group chats i have to keep an eye on for school stuff you know 

chuck taylors enthusiast: >when this gc exists only because i didn't wanna pay attention to the school related group chats,, 

queen charlotte: this is why you're not top of the class

chuck taylors enthusiast: it's true but you shouldn't say it

queen charlotte: i also have my gf over and she's distracting enough so <3

queen charlotte: don't hold it against me but i'll leave this group chat i hope you all have fun tho <3

queen charlotte left the group

bayley!: bitch

big bex energy: bitch

the bo$$: bitch

roman: hey don't be rude

big bex energy: we have a godsent right and duty to be rude to each other 

bayley!: yeah it's clearly written in the four horsewomen rules

roman: oh my bad then

the bo$$: yeah shut up roman

ambrose: sasha i'm abt to throw hands ?????? how dare u talk to him that way 

the bo$$: TRY ME

big bex energy: sasha honey you're too short for this

the bo$$: are you asking me to break up rn. cause that's what i'm hearing bitch

big bex energy: FUCK NO 

the bo$$: right. thought so

chuck taylors enthusiast: fuck yeah top her short queens rights

little miss bliss: is topping someone short queen rights????? 

chuck taylors enthusiast: y. yeah. 

little miss bliss: then i'm not getting rights :(

ram-paige: WELL you're getting topped by miss natalya??? so who's winning really 

little miss bliss: me >:)))

universal mom: 😳😳😳 lexi..... sh....

little miss bliss: 🤭

biggie: moving on,

biggie: for real would anyone mind spending a little more time on zoom rn? maybe we could..... toast for real.... 👉👈 unless 😳

mella💎: I'M IN

chuck taylors enthusiast: aight i'll go grab some fuckin tea for my straight edge boyf and i'm in <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyone wants to appoint charlotte a gf <3 i didn't have one in mind lmao


	3. gossip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll call this world building for fun
> 
> (this one's a little messy but i wrote it in the span of like. a week and my brain was in a different place everytime :/ hope it's enjoyable anyway!)

// saturday //

kofi k: good morning squad

the bo$$: it's. 11am

kofi k: >implying that at least some people aren't waking up just now 

ambrose: he's right

bayley!: he's right

big bex energy: today i regret quarantining w sasha cause her sleeping schedule's better than mine and she wakes up early well rested and all and pulls me out of bed and i'm. i'm just

the bo$$: you'll get used to it

ambrose: that's criminal sasha you are not allowed to date my sis anymore

big bex energy: dean,,,, shut up

feeltheglow: that IS criminal tho if i woke jimmy up as early as i wake up i'd feel bad

the bo$$: WHY'S EVERYONE ALREADY UP MY ASS TODAY 

mella💎: u had it coming for being a bitch

the bo$$: u wanna go bald????? 

universal mom: it's too early for the girls to be fighting. please everyone shut up eat breakfast go back to bed idc just. don't do this already

little miss bliss: she's not a morning person

little miss bliss: i'm making her coffee rn tho it'll make her feel better :)

chuck taylors enthusiast: 🥺🥺 

little miss bliss: what i'm about to say might sound silly and. i understand that with the whole quarantining together deal we spend more time together than we ever did and it can't get better than this basically but. idk i miss getting gross coffee at the vending machine w her as soon as we walked into school y'know

k8lyn: fuck don't i know

k8lyn: i miss grabbing snacks w aj and meeting up in the bathroom when class got boring

chuck taylors enthusiast: aw kate :(

roman: oh no i'm getting nostalgic now

little miss bliss: what do you miss rome

roman: i miss. driving to school w dean. how he's so grumpy in the morning until he gets in the car and turns on the radio and screams along to literally any song it's playing. i miss picking up jimmy & jey on the way to school and being dumb in the car

ucey jucey: :/ yeah 

ucey jucey: i miss fucking around w xavier when jimmy was busy w naomi and e & kofi were busy w each other

biggie: 😳 wig

ambrose: i miss picking fights w teachers and getting kicked out of class 

roman: no you don't

ambrose: it's not the same online

ambrose: and. i miss showing up to roman's classes asking teachers if they could let him come out for a sec bc i needed to tell him Something Important and instead i just needed a makeout sesh

roman: but we can makeout all the time now

ambrose: IT'S NOT THE SAME :/

chicago made: yeah like. where's the flavor

chicago made: attempting some smooching in the back of the class trying really hard to not be Seen by teachers. i miss those vibes. the adrenaline

chuck taylors enthusiast: well now u can try to smooch me without being Seen by my dad it's almost the same 

chicago made: ok but see i'm not trying to challenge death

xav: you saps. fuck kissing i miss LAUGHING and having FUN in class and trying to hide THAT from teachers

ram-paige: oh damn y'all remember passing notes around :/ 

ram-paige: GUYS HOW ARE WE GONNA CHEAT DURING TESTS NOW OH NOOOO IT'S GONNA HIT DIFFERENT BUT IN A BAD WAY :(((

universal mom: NOOOO DON'T SAY THIS 😭😭😭

bayley!: don't give me shit for this but i miss gym class

big bex energy: you fucking jock

bayley!: AND WHAT ABOUT IT

bayley!: i miss baseball and track :/

mella💎: you could just fuckin zoom around the house maybe

bayley!: sure . thank u mella

bayley!: i was starting shit w bianca before we went in lockdown. i was starting a war. i miss that 

the bo$$: you can say you miss bianca it's ok

bayley!: I DON'T MISS BIANCA I DON'T LIKE HER

bayley!: I JUST MISS MAKING ENEMIES

p1: i was kinda making friends can u believe that

seth freakin rollins: no

seth freakin rollins: wait who ??? are you even talking about?????

p1: miz & morrison u know ?? 

chicago made: respectfully why were you making friends w miz & morrison. of all people

ambrose: u see punk. assholes and bitches are like moths to a flame 

foxy: 😬

p1: that why you're dating roman???? 

ambrose: no that's why you're dating seth

ambrose: also i'm going to crack every bone in your body 

seth freakin rollins: anyway don't b friends w miz & morrison haha ur so sexy xx

seth freakin rollins: i really don't wanna have to go on double dates w them

k8lyn: yea u & allen are annoying enough

seth freakin rollins: kate

k8lyn: yeah

ambrose: good job kate

foxy: wait so miz and morrison *are* dating??? confirmed?????

little miss bliss: yea it's been a little bit messy over the years but. they are dating. finally

foxy: but wait what about maryse :'(

biggie: YEAH WHAT ABOUT MARYSE :///

little miss bliss: :/ she's fine mostly it was a very chill break up they're still friends but y'kno :///

chuck taylors enthusiast: god about fuckin time she was bearding for him so hard

big bex energy: JSJFKSJFKS COME ON SHE WASN'T. BEARDING 

feeltheglow: why does lexi know all the gossip tho

little miss bliss: i know things :)

little miss bliss: also miz and maryse adopted me back in the day

big bex energy: who got custody of u in the divorce

little miss bliss: mom but i see dad and other dad on the weekends

ram-paige: i'm cryign wjhat the fuckg

k8lyn: so WHAT about maryse now

little miss bliss: well nattie was trying to set her up w someone asdhklhd if that's what you're asking

k8lyn: yea of course that's what i was asking lmao get her some

universal mom: yea my last attempt was lana but i don't know how that's gonna go given the. circumstances

k8lyn: well i hope she gets some either way

little miss bliss: same! 

mella💎: now. w that settled. who's charlotte dating i didn't hear about her dating anyone before yesterday???? 

bayley!: oh she's dating asuka now didn't i tell you

feeltheglow: ASUKA???!?!?!?! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN

bayley!: slowly then all at once

chuck taylors enthusiast: why are you referencing. what i think you're referencing

bayley!: if you say one more fuckin word you'll be as much of a fool for getting the ref as i am for making it

chuck taylors enthusiast: good point

xav: i hate the two of you so much

roman: what is going on

chuck taylors enthusiast: see the name of this groupchat

roman: ok,

roman: either way. i love seeing how many people got their shit sorted out and settled w someone before lockdown started love that for them

foxy: yea i never heard of this many people getting together at the same time!! it's so funny lmao

universal mom: yea it's been good motivation if anything :) 

ucey jucey: not for everyone everyone tho

jimmy uce: 🤨 hmm? 

ucey jucey: 🤷🏻‍♀️

feeltheglow: ok.....

jimmy uce: i'm about to keep my eyes & ears real open bro

ucey jucey: aight lmao

little miss bliss: oh more gossip 👀

ucey jucey: i'm just saying a lot of people got w someone in time for lockdown yes but NOT everyone that's ALL

xav: it's not that deep.jpg

jimmy uce: ok if u say so 👀

p1: u think i could add miz and morrison

ambrose: god shut up about miz and morrison

p1: fuck off??????

chuck taylors enthusiast: ok in theory y'all can add more or less whoever u want 

p1: i'll hit them up i was liking them

ram-paige: this is so random how did it even happen

p1: we were mad at the same guy 

seth freakin rollins: now that sounds more like u

bayley!: so i'm not the only one who's sad abt having to pause the war i was starting

p1: nah :-( 

bayley!: who were you starting wars with?

p1: drew mcyntire lmao 

roman: oh him 

roman: we've had wars before

universal mom: oh high school drama

big bex energy: yea holy shit has there always been so much stuff happening

little miss bliss: oh absolutely but i feel like you hear more about it these days 

universal mom: yea cause everyone's so bored and we'll take anything to spice it up

mella💎: my hot take for the next drama we hear about is that it's gonna be news from the other half of our school

mella💎: like next week we hear that kyle killed the other three guys of their squad or smth

the bo$$: SHUT UP IF ANYTHING HAPPENED BETWEEN THEM I'D DIE 

xav: kyle would never kill his husband. but adam & roddy are on thin fucking ice

xav: especially adam

seth freakin rollins: i'd kill adam myself

chicago made: i think we'd ALL kill adam

chuck taylors enthusiast: didn't all four of them rent a place to quarantine together like 🥺 come on squad goals 

universal mom: yea mella don't wish bad things on them wtf :( 

mella💎: OK YOU'RE RIGHT I WAS JUST SAYING

little miss bliss: i agree w mella tho the next big news are def gonna come from their side

big bex energy: i hope the next gossip is that rhea & toni are dating

k8lyn: i hope that new girl w the green hair gets a gf she looks like she deserves it

feeltheglow: AMEN I AGREE 

biggie: we should add someone from there lmao so we can get news

bayley!: CAN I ADD FINN HE GOES THERE

seth freakin rollins: yeah 🥺

p1: YEAH

bayley! added demon prince 

ram-paige: ok and i thought _I_ was edgy

demon prince: fair 

demon prince: where am i

demon prince: are you guys aware that a group chat named "don't worry about it" in all caps definitively won't make anyone feel safe

chuck taylors enthusiast: oh yeah i definitively took that into consideration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> imagine that their school is somehow divided into nxt and wwe lmao i don't know how to make sense of this concept in american terms :-(


	4. movie night?

// still saturday // 

  
big bex energy: HEY FINN!!!!!

demon prince: BECKY!!!!!!!!

the bo$$: it is He. the four horsewomen's favorite and only man.

the bo$$: our boy toy if you will

demon prince: OK NOW,,,,

demon prince: pls the other guys in my side of the school don't know me like that i'm a new person i've rebranded don't ruin my new reputation :(

bayley!: we will consider. can't promise we will be merciful

demon prince: ok bastard.

demon prince: and anyway why isn't charlotte in this groupchat!! tf

big bex energy: bc she's a little bitch 

the bo$$: she's too busy being a good student and getting topped by asuka to be here ig 😔🤙🏻

demon prince: ok but you didn't need to phrase it like that

the bo$$: i said what i said !!

big bex energy: i think sasha is being too horny i'll have to take care of that

roman: can you stop being unhinged like this

demon prince: yea. hi rome

roman: hey finn

ambrose: sup finn are u still not eating any carb not even to cope in these trying times

demon prince: i have to say i've caved in at times 😔🤙🏻 does roman still smell good

roman: what

ambrose: as good as ever

ambrose: when we're allowed to go out again i need to take finn somewhere nice and make him eat a whole donut

demon prince: you never forget huh

ram-paige: i propose squad date based on donuts

demon prince: FUCK yeah

xav: hey finn!!!!!!!

demon prince: hey xavier!!!

demon prince: :))) i don't know why i was worried abt getting added here i like you all a lot

chuck taylors enthusiast: see >:( don't judge a groupchat by its creepy name

demon prince: you're right. but also like. don't name your groupchat something creepy ? maybe?

chuck taylors enthusiast: no

demon prince: right. i'll fuck off then

p1: HEY FINN!!!!!

seth freakin rollins: BROOOOOO 

demon prince: MOM AND DAD 

p1: NO!!!!!!!!!

demon prince: DAMN i haven't seen some of you in a while. i miss going where y'all go :/

biggie: yea you had to turn ur back on our wretched side

demon prince: u do see why tho

biggie: of course lmao good for u

big bex energy: are u thriving now finn?

demon prince: very much so!

universal mom: then we're GOOD

little miss bliss: and speaking of which. what's the tea over there

demon prince: what

mella💎: do you think kyle is going to kill the other three

demon prince: uh no i think he's gonna kill me or get himself killed in the process

mella💎: cool

bayley!: i thought you were friends now ???

demon prince: it's a love hate relationship we can't settle

big bex energy: ok do you think rhea and toni will date

demon prince: i'll tell you a secret. they've been dating on and off for a while. they're complicated

big bex energy: OH????????

demon prince: yea they say lockdown's gonna make or break them 😔🤙🏻 they're already regretting not quarantining together so much tho so i think they'll be good

big bex energy: FUCK YEAH I GOTTA GO TELL CHARLOTTE

chuck taylors enthusiast: THAT'S WHAT SHE GETS FOR DUMPING US 

demon prince: DAMN RIGHT

k8lyn: HEY FINN DO YOU THINK THE NEW GIRL W GREEN HAIR IS GONNA GET A GF

demon prince: shotzi???? she's been here. for a while? she hasn't qualified as the new girl in a while??

k8lyn: WELL SHE'S THE NEWEST

demon prince: kate! you're really not up to date!

k8lyn: TIME IS A JOKE IN THIS PANDEMIC!

demon prince: GOOD POINT!!!! ANYWAY i think maybe ember was trying to make a move on her but we don't know. it's not clear yet. we are all waiting for her to get a gf tho that much i can assure

k8lyn: FUCK IT UP!!!!

little miss bliss: oh yes ember as in the other person who turned her back on us to join the cool kids side >:( 

ambrose: oh don't be so bitter lex

little miss bliss: i'm not bitter i just miss her :(

demon prince: aw lexi you want me do add her? 

universal mom: RIGHT WHY HAVEN'T WE ADDED HER YET

ram-paige: YEAH SO WE HAVE MORE PEOPLE TO GIVE US THE TEA

demon prince added shenom

little miss bliss: EMBER!!!!

shenom: HI LEXI!! <3<3<3

feeltheglow: IS IT TRUE THAT YOU'RE TRYING TO WOO THE NEW GIRL 

shenom: 😳😳😳 finn if you don't learn to shut the fuck up in the next 5 minutes

demon prince: THEY WANTED THE TEA!!! 

shenom: THIS IS WHY KYLE DOESN'T FUCKING LIKE YOU

shenom: anyway. i will pretend i do not see that <3 how's lockdown going for y'all!

feeltheglow: it's lowkey rocking. a lot of us are quarantining with someone else. i'm sharing a house w the samoans and dean

shenom: sounds mildly traumatizing for the parents involved!

ucey jucey: why does everyone say this. we're GOOD KIDS

kofi k: yea you're just. energetic

seth freakin rollins: and also dean's there :/

roman: what's that fucking supposed to mean

shenom: ok so these three still have beef

mella💎: permanently. but it's entertaining

biggie: mella's becoming an alcoholic

mella💎: I'M NOT!!!!!!!!

p1: it's fucking hellish i'm losing my goddamn mind everyday i pick a fight w the dog to let my anger out and he always wins

universal mom: sometimes people are horny 

universal mom: oh wow u good there allen

seth freakin rollins: he's fine

k8lyn: it's going good. for now. we're having fun. we're coping. we're trying

chuck taylors enthusiast: our latest attempt at coping is gossip

bayley!: you call that coping??? we were just talking shit

chuck taylors enthusiast: it COULD be a coping mechanism you bastard. i'll call it whatever i want i am your MOTHER

big bex energy: don't look at me with that face on your face. or however that went

xav: i THINK we should watch movies together like in the weekends like right now 

bayley!: OH????? SAY MORE RIGHT NOW??

demon prince: o:!!!!!

xav: i think we should go on zoom and somebody should share their screen and we should just chill together while facetiming and pretend we're hanging out

ram-paige: there's a touch of depression to this text that is simply fitting. i love it 

shenom: i know i've been here for 10 seconds but i am very comfortable with the energy that we've created in the groupchat today. i'm so happy you added me :)

little miss bliss: 💖💖

chuck taylors enthusiast: :))) 

ram-paige: SO how was everyone's first online school weekend

ambrose: the way you worded that question gives me anxiety. today we made a cake

ucey jucey: we mentioned how our moms have been cooking so much right. they're making cakes everyday. they made one yesterday too. it's still in the fridge. they were talking abt what kind of cake they should make tomorrow

roman: in short they're starting to go mad way earlier than i thought

little miss bliss: well. we all gotta cope somehow. nattie's been cleaning everything in sight obsessively,,,, i'm mildly concerned ngl!

chicago made: WELL talking bout moms today aj's mom decided to pull out all the baby pictures and aj was absolutely bald in half of them

chuck taylors enthusiast: wow fuck off

biggie: was she cute tho.....

chicago made: no <3

chicago made: jk of course she was cute i love her

chuck taylors enthusiast: no i actually looked like a slug but thanks for being sweet sometimes phil <3

the bo$$: me and becky smashed

jimmy uce: ok

big bex energy: this is a flex on our bros dean & roman <3

roman: shut up. i've already said more than i should have said about this

ambrose: rome. respectfully. but if u don't bend me over tonight just out of spite for this CHALLENGE this PROVOCATION i'll be a bitch for the rest of the week

jimmy uce: ok

roman: dean stop putting me in this situation i'm begging you,,,,

ucey jucey: ok

xav: can we get an f for the twins

p1: fuckin f 

little miss bliss: f 

k8lyn: f

mella💎: f

shenom: f

bayley!: ok but respectfully @ my fellow horsewomen how do u find the fucking time and space,,,,,,,

kofi k: RIGHT U WERE ONLINE JUST. A WHILE AGO AND YOU'RE ALREADY. YOU KNOW??????

big bex energy: i'm sorry if you can't do two things at once but we're different??? also we haven't texted in a hot sec. we're not ALWAYS online. kids these days

ram-paige: right in front of my salad.......

ram-paige: anyway. today i forced alicia to watch european metal bands live shows w me bc i miss home sometimes and i'm lowkey hyperfixating on some germans to cope <3

foxy: don't say forced i had fun!!

ram-paige: u don't have to lie honey <3

biggie: i beat kofi & xav at just dance like 7 times :) so then they decided to play mortal kombat without me :/

xav: this is so sad alexa play he had it comin he only had himself to blame

seth freakin rollins: allen yelled at the dog today. as mentioned. some of us are truly going batshit

seth freakin rollins: actually at first he was trying to pick fights w me but now he moved on

p1: leave me alone seth i'm struggling

seth freakin rollins: do you want to hit up drew on zoom so you can fight him like you used to

p1: :( maybe

chuck taylors enthusiasm: wow truly alarming. does anyone want my therapist's number

ram-paige: i think we ALL need therapy after this fuckin historical experience

jimmy uce: amen!

the bo$$: sorry to ruin the vibes but. are we watching a movie like xavier suggested yes or no 

little miss bliss: OH RIGHT 👀

ambrose: wait right now?? like immediately?? 

k8lyn: wait no i need a second to get my shit sorted out

shenom: yea tbh i think everyone needs some time lmao what if we meet in 30 mins?

chicago made: yea i think that works

foxy: yes yes yes !!!! 

mella💎: and what are we watching???

xav: i was thinking hereditary since becky doesn't know the i am your mother speech by heart >:(

big bex energy: well i'm SORRY i didn't know that was a fuckin requirement for this gc. bitch

xav: DON'T YOU SWEAR AT ME YOU LITTLE SHIT 

the bo$$: yea so. anyway. if we're all ok w that movie me & becky will do the share screen thing lmao

chuck taylors enthusiast: yea i'm cool!

feeltheglow: same here!!!

bayley!: yep

universal mom: let's say we're all cool w it & if not we'll just decide when we're on zoom k?

k8lyn: agreed

xav: PERFECT see y'all later <3


	5. everyone get some. no that's too much wait put it back-

// saturday really late //

xav: so 

ambrose: right.

chuck taylors enthusiast: what a movie am i right

p1: that was fucked up i'll tell you that

universal mom: i feel like a changed woman

chuck taylors enthusiast: punk fell asleep in the middle of the finale,

ram-paige: THE FUCKING IDIOT OF COURSE HE DID 

roman: good for him 

ucey jucey: NO HE SHOULD HAVE SUFFERED LIKE THE REST OF US????

big bex energy: i would like to formally apoligize for giving xavier the idea to watch this wretched movie

bayley!: do you at least know the dinner scene by heart now

big bex energy: don't you swear at me you little shit don't you EVER raise your voice at me i am your MOTHER you understand all i do is worry and slave and defend you and all i get back is that fucking FACE on your FACE 

the bo$$: yeah

feeltheglow: the idea that some of y'all watched this fuckin movie more than once. terrible concept

ram-paige: it grows on you

big bex energy: it really doesn't

chuck taylors enthusiast: it's the mommy issues

ambrose: fuckfck you're right

p1: ouf

demon prince: well. tonight slapped. i loved to see it

p1: of course you did

ram-paige: the edge lords are showing after this

kofi k: if we don't watch the cheesiest shit possible next week i'll do something that i won't even regret

big bex energy: and you'd be right too!

little miss bliss: well i loved it :) it was sick

k8lyn: that it was. sick. sure was sick. the connotation of the word sick in this context is up for interpretation

shenom: it sure was a uh. a filme

xav: STOP acting so shocked STOP acting so bewildered GET OVER IT

jimmy uce: fuck OFF xavier 

xav: D:

ucey jucey: calm down jimmy it's ok it's over 

feeltheglow: y'all broke jimmy tonight 😔😔😔😔

bayley!: well. if i have nightmares tonight consider yourselves fucked up

bayley!: i wish everyone goodnight and sweet dreams except whoever enjoyed it

chuck taylors enthusiast: ow :(((

mella💎: gn fuckers

ambrose: goodnight everyone i'm gonna see if rome's down to bend me over like i suggested today so i can shove it in becky and sasha's faces and also so i can get bent over which is always a fucking treat anyway

roman: jesus fuck deano

ambrose: twins look away

biggie: respectfully how can u stomach it after the movie

ambrose: i can't handle horror movies i need to be comforted and cheered up ok bitch

biggie: ok slut

ucey jucey: ngl i wish i was jared 19

jimmy uce: i'm just gonna stop reading any text dean sends from now on

roman: :/// sorry kids

the bo$$: >:) i hope he refuses to bend u over @dean

the bo$$: bitch

roman: hey don't call him that

ambrose: yea don't call me that >:(

big bex energy: how did we start a fuck war 

chuck taylors enthusiast: this is my least favorite combination of words that has ever been sent in this groupchat

k8lyn: what being on lockdown will do to a mf 😔

jimmy uce: right. me and jey are gonna knock each other out before we end up reading something that will fuck us up worse than the movie

ambrose: wise choice

feeltheglow: i'll follow them but pls if u and rome smash keep in mind i'm SLEEPING in the room next to yours xx be fuckin decent xx

biggie: i feel like we end up talking about dean and roman's sex life too much it's. i'm not a fan of it

roman: believe me i don't like this either jfc

ambrose: :) i like to flex and brag what can i say! i got the hottest boyfriend on the block. sex life's great. he's packing s

chuck taylors enthusiast: 

ambrose: he got my phone. i won't finish my sentence but you get what i mean. i simply NEED to brag

roman: you need to learn to be quiet

ambrose: make me

feeltheglow: 

ram-paige: bottom

k8lyn: yeah no shit sherlock????

ram-paige: fuck off

big bex energy: they're not online anymore which probably means dean's getting bent over 😔😔😔 we lost today @sasha

the bo$$: not if i also bend YOU over rn 

big bex energy: o: YOU'RE RIGHT

demon prince: jesus CHRIST people in here need to SLOW DOOOWN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ram-paige: ESPECIALLY BEX AND SASHA LIKE BLOODY HELL TWO TIMES TODAY?????

the bo$$: dean & roman & EVERYONE ELSE IN HERE needs to step up their game <3 gn

seth freakin rollins: actually this groupchat sucks 

seth freakin rollins: see why i didn't wanna be friends w those two anymore

chuck taylors enthusiast: i know u feel like u can talk shit rn bc dean & rome are uh busy but i can still kick your ass about it

seth freakin rollins: you're shorter than the other aj what could you possibly do

chuck taylors enthusiast: BITCH

chuck taylors enthusiast: hi this is punk aj got so agitated abt u that she woke me up accidentally so i had to take her phone away and put her to sleep. i wish all seth rollins a very pleasant fuck off 

seth freakin rollins: why am i even in this groupchat

k8lyn: because i care you? :(

seth freakin rollins: aw ok :)

seth freakin rollins: goodnight to kate and allen only xx

demon prince: ok asshole goodnight!!

biggie: gn!

  
// next morning //

  
foxy: goodmorning bastards

the bo$$: right back at u?????

foxy: what's everyone doing today!!

feeltheglow: the mothers are making yet another cake. so that's a plan

the bo$$: WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY MAKING ALL THIS CAKE FOR!!!!

feeltheglow: TO COPE???? IDK IT'S GETTING CONCERNING NOBODY'S HUNGRY ENOUGH

foxy: AAAAAAAAAA

the bo$$: are we the only ones who are awake lmao 

big bex energy: to be fair who the fuck gets up early on sunday 

the bo$$: touche

bayley!: i'm up too!!!!!!

the bo$$: hi bitch

bayley!: sup asshole

big bex energy: did u have any nightmares bay?

bayley!: no! did dean get bent

big bex energy: he did :( but so did i :)

bayley!: i don't remember asking for that but cool!

the bo$$: :)

chuck taylors enthusiast: the way bex killed the conversation for two whole hours. good morning

demon prince: GOOD MORNING!!! 

universal mom: why's he always in a good mood..........

demon prince: to balance out my edgy ass nickname on this app!!!!

universal mom: OH!!!!

xav: e woke us up w pancakes this morning 🥺🥺🥺 like yea he's been making pancakes nearly everyday since lockdown started but. this was soft

kofi k: i lov him so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺

chicago made: stop him he's raising the bar too much..... 

biggie: isjdjsjfjs you're not making my mother breakfast in bed everyday?????? are you even worthy of her phil????? 

chicago made: FUCK OFF!!

ambrose: good morning rome made me breakfast in bed too <3 

feeltheglow: well after last night,

ambrose: yea see he's the whole package <3 

bayley!: i feel like he had to bring you breakfast in bed bc you like can't stand up or something

ambrose: ok now,

ambrose: i AM a little sore but i can handle walking around. are you taking me for someone who's not used to this?????? cute

chuck taylors enthusiast: jesus christ. @punk when will you step up 

chicago made: ........

feeltheglow: i thank the heavens the twins fell asleep first bc. something was slamming against the wall

ambrose: yea the dresser

universal mom: 

roman: babe you know when i was telling you to be quiet last night

ambrose: oh yeah

roman: that still fucking applies

the bo$$: we fucked too btw. last night 

ambrose: GODDAMN?????

ambrose: ROME THEY'RE ONE POINT ABOVE US

roman: ok the three of you need to stop. i cannot be doing this all lockdown

roman: i mean i WILL fuck all lockdown but not as a fucking challenge

ambrose: oh thank god

big bex energy: HE'S RIGHT THO I WANNA DO IT OUT OF LOVE NOT SPITE!!!!!

little miss bliss: so romantic!!! xx

the bo$$: :( ok i will drop it

roman: amen

k8lyn: so in short. get some

chuck taylors enthusiast: you know what kate. i think you've been thinking abt Everyone Else Getting Some too much. what about YOU getting some.

ram-paige: YEAH.

k8lyn: in this pandemic?????????

ucey ucey: you can still get some via phone 

feeltheglow: are you talking from experience or what??? mr juice man?????

ucey jucey: WAS JUS SAYIN

little miss bliss: yea like ember's gonna get some from green hair girl digitally

shenom: ok you little bitch u better hope lockdown never ends bc i'll kill u for this

shenom: aND SHE HAS A NAME

little miss bliss: u owe me for this jey. she's gonna kill me because i tried to redirect everyone's attention away from u. i want a starbucks

ucey jucey: u a real one lex

jimmy uce: WHAT U HIDING BRO

ucey jucey: NOTHING!!!!!!

roman: jey u can't hide this forever we'll be stuck in the same house for a while it WILL come out one way or the other

ambrose: if you're getting some on the phone we'll find out

ucey jucey: GET OFF MY BACK

ram-paige: can we talk abt kate. can we pleaaaase talk abt kate

seth freakin rollins: yeah goddamn we need to get her some 

k8lyn: et tu seth................... you'll really stab anyone in the back huh

p1: 

seth freakin rollins: FUCK OFFFF

chuck taylors enthusiast: kate. unironically. if me paige nattie and seth try to find u someone. would u be ok w it

k8lyn: lmao NO!!!!!!!!!! DON'T BE FUCKIN WEIRD

chuck taylors enthusiast: YOU'RE A PIECE OF SHIT ASS

mella💎: anyway sorry to butt in but @people who have english class w me on tuesday did u get the texts saying she wants camera & mic open for a surprise test next time????

kofi k: WHAT!!!!

the bo$$: catch me shattering my fuckin camera

ambrose: wait who's that teacher again

the bo$$: fuckin mrs mcmahon

ambrose: tell her to choke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANYONE GOT A DATE FOR KATE 👀 ANYONE WANTS TO GUESS WHAT JEY'S UP TO 👀


	6. parents issues

// sunday but later //

chuck taylors enthusiast: oh my god oh my god i don't wanna do a test this tuesday what do i do oh my god oh my god

chicago made: first of all calm down,

chuck taylors enthusiast: i'm gonna tell her my phone's broken and i didn't see her texts about it and therefore i didn't study

mella💎: she'll pull a "we've been talking about this for WEEKS you should already KNOW the material even if i didn't announce a test have you not been paying ATTENTION"

chuck taylors enthusiast: I DON'T WANNA STUDY!!!!!

universal mom: YOU'RE IN SCHOOL

chuck taylors enthusiast: FUCK OFF

chuck taylors enthusiast: i am living a major historical event. i want to enjoy the ride. i am suffering trauma

k8lyn: you're a fucking idiot

chuck taylors enthusiast: also that

chuck taylors enthusiast: ok i'll tell her. the mic doesn't work

roman: april. honey. does anything work

roman: phone broke. mic broke. what's up w that

biggie: you are a broken woman

biggie: 😔🤙🏻

chuck taylors enthusiast: i sure am doe 😔🤙🏻

demon prince: just. a question. how is it a surprise test if she's telling you now it'll happen

the bo$$: she means surprise test as in we didn't plan it out together like a month earlier like we usually do

the bo$$: she gave us. a short warning. so surprise test

shenom: her classes seem easy when u put it like that

kofi k: oh no she's a bitch

feeltheglow: oh yeah

mella💎: yea we know

mella💎: she just really wants to be the cool hip teacher w the fresh alternative methods. clearly failing

seth freakin rollins: she is literally my mother

ambrose: and it shows

seth freakin rollins: 

foxy: wait a second when you say. your mother. you mean .

seth freakin rollins: well. step mother

p1: steph mother

p1: am i right

xav: wow that. that sucked so bad

p1: listen i'm going thru some shit

chuck taylors enthusiast: EVERYBODY'S GOING THRU SOME SHIT BITCH LET'S GET YOU SOME GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR

p1: you little shit

big bex energy: i am going to die at y'all's hands today

seth freakin rollins: ignoring what my mans said. ANYWAY yeah in super short after steph and hunter divorced she started dating my dad so here we are

bayley!: i remember hearing abt the divorce when we were kids and being so curious abt who they'd end up dating next bc it was kind of insane imagining them w anyone else?? and. finding out steph was dating just some guy

seth freakin rollins: why are you all talking about my parents like this today

bayley!: RESPECTFULLY

bayley!: BUT LIKE. ON ONE SIDE HUNTER REMARRIES AND IT'S EVERYONE'S FAVORITE TEACHER. ON THE OTHER SIDE STEPH MARRIES. SOME GUY

bayley!: YOU DO SEE HOW THAT'S. UNDERWHELMING

seth freakin rollins: i GUESS i get what you're saying but like Shut Up?????

bayley!: SHKHFAGJGSJKFGI

jimmy uce: this gc is a fucking trainwreck and you're all dumb ❤❤

ram-paige: i often feel threatened by a red heart emoji

jimmy uce: ok

chicago made: april you little bitch this tuesday i'll keep a book around and i'll try to give u the answers to the surprise test. and never say i need to step up my game again

chuck taylors enthusiast: YOU'RE RIGHT YOU'RE PERFECT YOU'RE THE BEST BOYFRIEND EVER I'LL PUT A RING ON YOU I'LL COOK YOU DINNER TONIGHT

little miss bliss: love wins <3

k8lyn: booo you whores

the bo$$: really? dean and roman are right there

roman: I THOUGHT WE WEREN'T AT WAR ANYMORE????

the bo$$: we aren't i'm just a little bitch

bayley!: she's self aware!!!!!!!!

the bo$$: ha ha suck my dick

bayley!: no u

xav: epic roast

shenom: have you ever thought about being quiet

xav: not once no

shenom: please consider

universal mom: sometimes you guys get aggressive completely sorta unprompted and it alarms me

ram-paige: it's ok mom

biggie: no you're all trash can i add mine and kofi's other children

kofi k: @aj 👀

foxy: o other????

xav: yea i'm their main kid

xav: i'm the first born and the favorite

xav: but there's a couple more

biggie: ok now

chuck taylors enthusiast: ok let's say. you don't have to get MY permission jsjfjskf if everyone's chill w the people u wanna add just go ahead

k8lyn: wait who are they 👀👀

biggie: u know montez and angelo???

feeltheglow: OH?????

biggie: YEAH!!!!

demon prince: NICE

xav: i don't remember anyone being so excited when i got added. maybe i'm not the favorite after all

chuck taylors enthusiast: i think most of them were asleep when you got added

xav: irrelevant

chuck taylors enthusiast: no u

xav: ok. ok

kofi k: it's ok xavier we still love u

ucey jucey: yea bro

xav: :) thanks bro

jimmy uce: :)

xav: :)

biggie: :)

chuck taylors enthusiast: what the fuck ew. stop

biggie: ok lmao

biggie added dawks

biggie added tez

tez: GOOD FUCKING DAY EVERYONE

dawks: YEAAAAAAAAAH

little miss bliss: !!!!!

the bo$$: you either add my girl bianca or you leave right now

dawks: you really killed my mood sis but. fair

bayley!: NO

the bo$$: shut up

mella💎: it's ok baybee you can keep picking fights with her like this right?

bayley!: oh right. BRING HER IN

tez: hmm mixed reviews from the chat. here she comes anyway

tez added the est

bayley!: her and her dumbass nickname

the est: u got some problems??????

bayley!: you KNOW i got ALL the problems

bayley!: with you

bayley!: you're my problem

the bo$$: don't mind her she has problems in general

roman: you are all out of control

chicago made: wait roman seeing you just reminded me of something. did dean say he can't handle horror movies. like. did he confirm he's a pussy or did i dream it

roman: don't be fucking rude???????????????????

ambrose: YEAH????? >:( yes i can't handle horror movies WHAT about it phil at least my name's not phil

chicago made: BRO???????? FUCK OFF

chicago made: my gf's strap is bigger than your bf's dick

roman: ok we're starting to cross a line and it's happening very fast,

kofi k: can you please fucking behave for one second

kofi k: like can you PLEASE at least give the new comers time to fucking settle in before you hit them with this shit. UNBELIEVABLE

the est: WHAT THE FUCKCKKKFKFKDKFKKSKDKSJDNAD

biggie: i would like to apologize to dawks and tez and bianca. phil i hope you die

chuck taylors enthusiast: i mean is he wrong

ambrose: oh april honey

jimmy uce: SHUT UP!!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP DEAN SHUT UP SHUT UP BE QUIET BEFORE YOU SAY SOMETHING THAT WILL RUIN MY LIFE MORE THAN LAST NIGHT'S MOVIE

roman: 

feeltheglow: ok so he is still feeling the effects of hereditary

seth freakin rollins: wait PUNK GETS PEGGED?????????

chuck taylors enthusiast: :)

bayley!: is anyone surprised

ram-paige: no

biggie: no

ambrose: no

universal mom: no

seth freakin rollins: no

tez: no

chicago made: YOU LITERALLY JUST ENTERED THIS GC

tez: IT'S NOT LIKE I NEVER MET YOU BEFORE THO??????

chuck taylors enthusiast: :) i feel very flattered by this thanks besties

chicago made: what does this say about me

ambrose: don't worry about it

k8lyn: wack

chicago made: ok

xav: you people sure know how to make a good first impression huh

roman: oh goddamn

dawks: WJDKSKFJKSJX IT'S OK THIS WAS THE MOST BATSHIT THING I'VE EVER. JUST. EYE

tez: lockdown was making me feel dead so actually this was a good slap in the face to bring me back to life

demon prince: (can't wake up)

ram-paige: (SAVE MEEE)

tez: lame

mella💎: cringe

the est: i love it here already lmao i hope y'all keep this energy

the bo$$: oh it gets worse

big bex energy: you're lucky you joined after the end of the fuck war

tez: do i. wanna know

roman: no

tez: ok

kofi k: everyone shut up. please god fucking damn shut up for once

big bex energy: no!!!! fuck u

seth freakin rollins: yeah. so anyway bianca are you single

p1: ???????

seth freakin rollins: YOU MIND YOUR BUSINESS

k8lyn: seth istg

the est: uh???

seth freakin rollins: DON'T WORRY I HAVE A BOYFRIEND I'M NOT TRYING TO HIT ON YOU JUST ANSWER AFGHKKFDR

the est: after hanging out w montez and angelo as much as i do i need a break from relationships :)

dawks: what's that supposed to mean

the est: that the two of you are exasperating luv

tez: WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

the est: that if i wasn't y'all's bff and if i didn't know y'all were dating i'd go mad trying to figure out if you're just good friends/pining/dating

dawks: lmao good point

tez: do you regret not quarantining with us bianca

the est: fuck no :)))

universal mom: SO YOU DON'T WANT A GF MAYBE???

the est: 😳 not rn not really sorry

k8lyn: NATTIE I CAN'T BE RUDE TO YOU BUT FUCK'S SAKE!!!!

the est: CAN I KNOW WHAT'S YOUR DEAL

ram-paige: WE'RE TRYING TO GET KATE SOME™

k8lyn: LEAVE ME ALONEEEE

ram-paige: FUCK YOU

k8lyn: bianca i am so sorry i have nothing to do w this

the est: i believe you lmao dw

tez: 👀

the est: tez honey huh-uh. put those eyes away before i gouge em out

tez: jesus fuckin christ ok

bayley!: you're unhinged

the est: i'll show you unhinged

roman: girls pls

mella💎: no let them go

dawks: ANYWAY what do you DO in here

little miss bliss: talk shit

ram-paige: get hit

ambrose: fuck around and find out

dawks: ok,

xav: movie night on saturdays xx

feeltheglow: we had a. rocky start for the movie night project but

tez: is this about hereditary lmao

jimmy uce: YEAH

ucey jucey: he didn't like it at all

jimmy uce: LIKE YOU DID?????

ucey jucey: NO I ALSO DIDN'T

big bex energy: let's just say. half of them weren't ready for it

the bo$$: fun fact! becky has not stopped reciting the dinner scene over and over now that she knows it all by heart. fuck off

xav: you're all fuckin BLOWING this out of proportion so hard

chuck taylors enthusiast: u talking abt dean???

ambrose: wow

ambrose: you really went for it didn't you

demon prince: i'm so tired. pls. give it a break

demon prince: 10 seconds without being horny please i beg

big bex energy: have you MET dean

ambrose: literally shut the fuck

roman: becky weren't you getting bent like 5 times a day or smth?? and you're trying to come for dean???

big bex energy: OK ROMAN TO THE RESCUE. I'LL SHUT UP THEN

the est: becky you were getting what

the bo$$: what

the est: i simply must clap for you sasha

the bo$$: :) thank you!!

chuck taylors enthusiast: that's a taste of the fuck war becky mentioned earlier xx

tez: i hate those words together so much

chuck taylors enthusiast: that's what i said!!!

demon prince: sometimes. i wish i wasn't in this gc

chuck taylors enthusiast: half of me wants to kick you out and the other half wants to keep you here out of spite

demon prince: who will win

demon prince: not me. that's for sure

the est: well at least i'm getting some entertainment to get me thru lockdown ig

bayley!: what is this the fucking circus

the bo$$: clearly

the bo$$: like sorry for siding w her bay but like. people in here do be clowns

xav: you can @ me it's ok 💖

the bo$$: yeah like @xavier here IS a clown

xav: turns out i don't like it

bayley!: WELL if bianca wants me to entertain her why is she not paying a fuckin ticket

the est: i'd consider it if you were any funny or smth but ://// you weren't gifted like that unfortunately. it's ok tho you can't have everything <3 i can tho

bayley!: when we go back to school i'm beating you at gym class so hard

the est: i can't wait to see you fucking try

tez: oh jesus

big bex energy: jocks

ram-paige: fucking losers all of you

bayley!: i'll put you thru a wall paige

universal mom: can someone calm down. like anyone at least one person wants to calm down maybe??? no one???

roman: yeah i'd like to calm down

kofi k: yea yea yea why don't we relax bros

k8lyn: because fuck you that's why!!!!!

biggie: i'll fuck u up next time i see you kate

k8lyn: perish!!!!!

demon prince: :)))))) i'm about to fucking snap :)))))

roman: guys PLEASE shut up

roman: why don't we do a little zoom call. a little hanging out moment. eat something drink something have a chat. have a good little time. please

mella💎: YEAH I LIKE WHEN WE DO ZOOMS WE SHOULD DO THEM MORE OFTEN!!!!

xav: so u have a good reason to cultivate your alcoholism?

mella💎: so i can cultivate my alcoholism.

dawks: should we....... should we drop some fs

mella💎: yeah 😔

tez: f

the est: f

bayley!: f

the bo$$: the only f i'm dropping for carmella is a fuck you or a fuck off

mella💎: i hope your hands fall off so you can stop texting stupid shit

roman: i thought i said we were gonna calm down

the bo$$: ok you're right. sorry dad

foxy: sorry dad lmao

shenom: SO zoom??? peaceful little zoom???

foxy: !!! happy little zoom as a treat

feeltheglow: good vibes only :)

little miss bliss: YEAH LIKE IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES BUT SOMETIMES IT'S GOOD TO REMEMBER THAT WE'RE FRIENDS AND THAT WE LIKE EACH OTHER :))))

shenom: YEAHHHH ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM

ram-paige: me trying to not make a joke abt how i like none of you besides my girlfriend 

big bex energy: WHY ARE YOU USING A PICTURE OF ME AS A REACTION PIC JAJDKSKDJSKDKSKD

ram-paige: 💖

roman: wow paige thank you for not making that joke

ram-paige: :)) i do my best i work very hard

universal mom: and i feel a partnership with roman starting in this chili tonight

ambrose: please elaborate or so help me god

universal mom: parent

foxy: understandable have a nice day

ambrose: wow nattie's ability to articulate is off the charts

universal mom: DON'T BE RUDE YOU GET WHAT I MEAN

universal mom: fellow parents. me and rome

shenom: wait GASP is roman being given the dad friend role......

roman: i'm not sure that i want it seeing how fucking feral my children (you all) would be

chuck taylors enthusiast: too late. nattie needs help. you're dad now

big bex energy: adagc (assigned dad at groupchat)

ambrose: oh yeah sure he's daddy

ucey jucey: i can't fucking believe

feeltheglow: jimmy is currently on the edge of a breakdown. jey looks like he's following. roman looks like he wants to cry. and dean's laughing like a fucking bastard. my inlaws are trying to understand what just happened

universal mom: oh no

the bo$$: thank you for narrating what goes down in the samoan household to the rest of us????? u a real one

p1: everytime naomi updates us like this it feels like a news anchorman cutting to the reporter on the scene

chicago made: like that one snl short

p1: sure bro. exactly like that

ambrose changed roman's name to daddy

feeltheglow: when one of them notices i will have to report another breakdown. dean you're a bitch

ambrose: I SURE AM

the est: so,,,,, zoom ??


End file.
